i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
