Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize