There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
