I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
