Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
