Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
