Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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