Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
