All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
