Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
