I am puke
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Say something about gay babies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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