This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize