It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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