when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I will pee on everything he values.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
