There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
