my mouth tastes like poor choices
he wants to bone in the snuggie
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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