May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
