Texts From Last Night

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  (312): View more from Illinois

  dude, your ex-bf is on match.com

  (847): View more from Illinois

  details on that.

  (312): View more from Illinois

  well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.

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  (312): dude, your ex-bf is on match.com (847): details on that. (312): well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes. http://tfl.nu/50kk
  Replies (6) Good night (2074) Bad night (900)
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  (212): View more from New York

  You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.

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  (212): You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin. http://tfl.nu/5eus
  Replies (15) Good night (839) Bad night (4664)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team

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  (503): I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team http://tfl.nu/ke7v
  Replies (42) Good night (6073) Bad night (979)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.

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  (410): He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school. http://tfl.nu/iqns
  Replies (20) Good night (889) Bad night (5746)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.

  (1-919): View more from North Carolina

  Please get laid.

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  (919): I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot. (1-919): Please get laid. http://tfl.nu/xffk
  Replies (37) Good night (1898) Bad night (5859)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.

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  (732): a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove. http://tfl.nu/qfpc
  Replies (11) Good night (4266) Bad night (1231)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..

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  (239): I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high.. http://tfl.nu/0y5k
  Replies (19) Good night (5104) Bad night (1125)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.

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  (618): It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days. http://tfl.nu/kqbj
  Replies (9) Good night (1460) Bad night (3210)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I love how my cats smell like pot.

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  (410): I love how my cats smell like pot. http://tfl.nu/85ca
  Replies (12) Good night (4535) Bad night (1356)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.

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  (817): My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give. http://tfl.nu/lewe
  Replies (11) Good night (4204) Bad night (800)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room

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  (503): We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room http://tfl.nu/9vw8
  Replies (4) Good night (2281) Bad night (701)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..

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  (910): I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks.. http://tfl.nu/st44
  Replies (7) Good night (1787) Bad night (731)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.

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  (850): It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant. http://tfl.nu/v68q
  Replies (6) Good night (507) Bad night (1157)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica

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  (740): The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica http://tfl.nu/yubm
  Replies (4) Good night (1079) Bad night (291)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.

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  (585): He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota. http://tfl.nu/2rl1
  Replies (4) Good night (846) Bad night (348)

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