Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(416): View more from Ontario

I wanna be on tlc

(905): View more from Toronto

Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.

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(317): View more from Indiana

Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm

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(661): View more from California

this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(314): View more from Missouri

Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho

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(616): View more from Michigan

Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.

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(513): View more from Ohio

I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.

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(727): View more from Florida

they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."

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(407): View more from Florida

My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.

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