Texts From Last Night

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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.

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  (918): The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God. http://tfl.nu/l6po
  Replies (20) Good night (8070) Bad night (915)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.

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  (860): i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess. http://tfl.nu/ekn6
  Replies (9) Good night (973) Bad night (4946)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.

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  (512): I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high. http://tfl.nu/3kr7
  Replies (27) Good night (5463) Bad night (1179)
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  (916): View more from California

  He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants

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  (916): He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants http://tfl.nu/xfxv
  Replies (46) Good night (13539) Bad night (2270)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.

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  (214): you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night. http://tfl.nu/mxyx
  Replies (7) Good night (2465) Bad night (661)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity

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  (423): Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity http://tfl.nu/dliq
  Replies (2) Good night (975) Bad night (792)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.

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  (304): Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms. http://tfl.nu/onlr
  Replies (5) Good night (2068) Bad night (528)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.

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  (978): I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground. http://tfl.nu/oy4l
  Replies (5) Good night (1776) Bad night (769)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.

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  (647): I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool. http://tfl.nu/nmia
  Replies (11) Good night (1275) Bad night (485)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  like...quickly.

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  (814): Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision? (814): like...quickly. http://tfl.nu/6pc5
  Replies (3) Good night (849) Bad night (451)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.

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  (423): I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves. http://tfl.nu/s92y
  Replies (2) Good night (771) Bad night (409)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.

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  (806): I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism. http://tfl.nu/hgk9
  Replies (3) Good night (806) Bad night (402)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!

  (281): View more from Texas

  All I did was send my mom an ecard

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  (713): Body shots with my MILFs MILF!! (281): All I did was send my mom an ecard http://tfl.nu/9e20
  Replies (2) Good night (633) Bad night (384)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.

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  (770): High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner. http://tfl.nu/6vaw
  Replies (3) Good night (1223) Bad night (342)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck

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  (804): he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck http://tfl.nu/vp9z
  Replies (0) Good night (661) Bad night (297)

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