Texts From Last Night

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  (516): View more from New York

  i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.

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  (516): i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles. http://tfl.nu/x8s9
  Replies (15) Good night (7016) Bad night (722)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!

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  (615): Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget! http://tfl.nu/i6kv
  Replies (8) Good night (3944) Bad night (997)
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  (626): View more from California

  im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.

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  (626): im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again. http://tfl.nu/ai0s
  Replies (6) Good night (1089) Bad night (2225)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises

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  (306): You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises http://tfl.nu/ccm4
  Replies (4) Good night (1712) Bad night (989)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night

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  (978): hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night http://tfl.nu/n6zz
  Replies (3) Good night (2005) Bad night (579)
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  (607): View more from New York

  The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.

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  (607): The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude. http://tfl.nu/ttzr
  Replies (8) Good night (1472) Bad night (728)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.

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  (847): I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am. http://tfl.nu/8371
  Replies (1) Good night (1179) Bad night (494)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.

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  (678): Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me. http://tfl.nu/6dhe
  Replies (9) Good night (1748) Bad night (680)
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  (925): View more from California

  I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.

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  (925): I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you. http://tfl.nu/spyc
  Replies (3) Good night (904) Bad night (371)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night

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  (701): I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night http://tfl.nu/x7bo
  Replies (1) Good night (284) Bad night (495)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.

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  (201): But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling. http://tfl.nu/g0mj
  Replies (1) Good night (526) Bad night (352)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.

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  (360): There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info. http://tfl.nu/i0nt
  Replies (0) Good night (335) Bad night (442)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar

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  (727): One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar http://tfl.nu/bkjj
  Replies (3) Good night (553) Bad night (302)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror

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  (281): You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror http://tfl.nu/4ds1
  Replies (1) Good night (386) Bad night (172)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"

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  (847): You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL" http://tfl.nu/xuia
  Replies (0) Good night (261) Bad night (319)

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