You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
These Attractive Criminals Got Modeling Contracts After Getting Arrested
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.