You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
