We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
