I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize