chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
