first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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