sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
