we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
we're so committed to being not committed
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
