Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
