that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize