i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
