laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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