Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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