Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize
