carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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