so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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