all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Im just a social blackout drinker.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Randomize
