I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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