Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
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