Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I didn't notice because vodka
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize
