we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
It's never too late to be topless.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
