I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
