seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
