I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Randomize
