That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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