if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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