i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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