Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
You were trust falling into bushes
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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