check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
