no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
