Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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