I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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