is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
