oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize
