pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
