Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
