I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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