Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
