Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
