well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Ladies don't puke and tell
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
