Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
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