Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
