she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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