Buhtt sex?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
