That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
