it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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