i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
