just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
