scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
