Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
