you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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