I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
